Everybody loves a good shark move, lets face it! However the problem is that there isn't a whole lot of great ones but a plethora of terrible “bottom-of-the-barrel” type shark movies. When I noticed that there was a brand new Aussie shark movie that was going to play at MIFF, I was excited as I thought it would be the perfect palate cleanser after a festival of arthouse and foreign hits. It would be nice to just sit back, turn the old brain off and watch a shark tear victims limb from bloody limb. My anticipation further grew when I noticed that Kiah Roache-Turner had wrote and directed “Beast of War” as I loved his two “Wyrmwood” films; zombie epics that belied their small budgets and delivered blood, guts and humour in spades. I felt we had a chance of seeing a new Aussie horror classic with “Beast of War”, or at the very least, a superior shark film.
My screening of “Beast of War” was actually the film's world premiere and attended by the cast and crew of the film. During his introduction, director Kiah Roache-Turner explained that the germ of the idea to make this shark film came about after his producer rang him to tell him he had access to a giant water tank, and wondered if he had a story for a film set on water. At the time, he hadn't, but felt like he couldn't pass up on an opportunity to work with a secured location (a rare one at that), and went about writing a story to fit, eventually basing it on (very, very loosely based) an actual incident that took place during World War II. And this is my biggest problem about the disaster that “Beast of War” turned out to be, as there was no real reason for the film to exist, other than to exploit a location they had access to. It wasn't a story Roache-Turner “had” to tell or even wanted to make, and this shows in the total lack of passion in the final product.
One thing that Roache-Turner has always excelled at, is creating a film that looks above its means, with low-fi special effects that add so much production value, whilst also making it good, gory fun. His “Wyrmwood” zombie epics look ten times what the films actually cost (at least) and the gore and action effects are just awesome. Unfortunately he cannot pull off the same trick with “Beast of War”, as it looks exactly like what it is: a group of guys floating in a water tank. It is never believable that they are in the middle of the ocean, and it gives off a real cheap vibe to the film. Worse still is the shark itself, which looks like rubber and never induces fear when onscreen, despite its permanently aggressive and very toothy look. For whatever reason, Roache-Turner shoots the shark in exactly the same way and angle every time it shows up, and always in slow motion. I am sure this is to create dynamism but it loses its effectiveness after seeing the shot of the shark surfacing front-on after the nth time.
Probably the most embarrassing part of the film though is the acting by everyone and the characterisations which are full of cliché. If you think of every war film archetype, they will exist in some fashion in “Beast of War”, from the racist soldier who thinks he is better than everyone (especially the blacks), to the morally upstanding Aboriginal who will clearly be the film's star, to the shy and timid soldier who will show his worth and bravery by the end, and let's not forget our comedic soldier who is good for a few laughs during the carnage. They are all here, and it is more than a little embarrassing, nor do they ever feel like well drilled soldiers on their way to battle. The way these characters talk also doesn't ring true for a film set in 1942, as the dialogue coming from their mouths sounds very modern, but I guess this is more of a problem of the very average script from Roache-Turner, rather than the actors faults.
The biggest tragedy of “Beast of War” though is how boring it all is, and the fact that there is not one iconic or even great shark kill in the film. The story is too slight that Roache-Turner struggles to come up with ideas to make his characters either re-enter the water or at least get close enough to the edge of the huge chunk of metal they are floating on, just to create some suspense or drama. At only 87 minutes long, “Beast of War” feels so much longer than that because of how boring it is, which is the one thing a shark film should never be! (And half of it is in slow motion!!)
Overall, “Beast of War” was a massive disappointment and something of a disaster. There is nothing to recommend about the film, and it felt like a total waste of time to sit through. What I expected to be something to shut my brain off and just have a bit of fun with, ended up being a film that made me angry, and so far, is the worst film I've seen at MIFF this year.
1.5 Stars.
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