TOP TEN
WORST FILMS OF 2017
10. mother!
Darren Aronofsky is a director I really like and admire,
but “mother!” is the first film of his that I have genuinely
disliked. I get the fact that it is a biblical allegory that morphs
into an eco thriller, but personally I prefer allegory to be used as
another layer of a film rather than be the whole point of the film.
By that I mean that I like a film to still tell a story and make
sense if an audience member does not pick up on the fact that it is
an allegory for something else. Done like this, I find the use of an
allegory to be very clever and rewarding. “mother!” has none of
this. If you do not understand that its really about creation,
religion and how we are destroying the world (among other things),
the film makes no sense at all. In fact, it turns out to be a series
of increasingly disturbing scenarios that ultimately frustrate a
viewer. Personally, I got what the film was trying to say, but was
annoyed that the film didn't make sense in any way in regards to
telling a base story. I also was not a fan of the way the film was
shot either. Having Jennifer Lawrence in either constant close up
from the shoulders up, or being followed from behind by the camera,
became visually boring as it was so repetitive. Now, while I really
disliked this film a lot, out of all the titles on this list, this is
the only one that I want to revisit.
9. THE GLASS CASTLE
Even though I only watched this a relatively short time
ago, I actually remember little about this film, except for the fact
that I hated it. I remember thoroughly disliking the parents in the
film, played by Woody Harrelson and Naomi Watts, due to their
ridiculous and selfish outlook on life. The performances by these
talented actors were also very average too. Brie Larson's
performance was also very flat, and for a film that is meant to be
filled with emotion, I sadly felt nothing. Seeing as this film came
from both the director and star of the very impressive “Short Term
12”, makes “The Glass House” even more of a disappointment.
8. THE SNOWMAN
Out of all the films on this list, “The Snowman” was
the one that I expected to be on the “best of” list instead of
here. In fact, I thought it was a shoe in to make my top twenty of
the year. Coming from a brilliant and classy director such as Tomas
Alfredson, whose last film was the stunning “Tinker, Tailor,
Soldier, Spy”, with Michael Fassbender as its main star, based on
an apparently very good book by Jo Nesbo, not to mention the film was
executive produced by Martin Scorsese......surely “The Snowman”
couldn't be anything other than cinematic gold. Then the trailers
started to come out, and the film looked so impressive. A good old
fashioned crime story told by a talented group of film makers. Well,
something went wrong, very wrong. Almost from the opening minute of
the film, it just feels totally off. The movie doesn't flow. Scenes
that end up adding nothing to the story, go on forever, while scenes
that would help explain elements of the plot or motivations of the
characters, do not even exist. Something that baffled me though was
that a line from the trailer and used extensively in the marketing of
the film, failed to appear in the film at all. It's the “you could
have saved them, I gave you all the clues” line. This made me go
back and re-watch the trailer once I had come out of the film, and I
then found out that a huge number of scenes from the trailer were
missing from the finished product. These didn't appear to be minor
scenes either, with a major character being chased, a cabin being set
on fire, and Michael Fassbender's character clearly in the midst of
mental torture as he is crying on his knees.........all not in the
finished film. Another problem is the killer's identity is so
obvious as well. Director Tomas Alfredson came out in the press
“before” the film was released and admitted that “The Snowman”
did not work and blamed it on a lack of time to shoot the scenes
needed to make a coherent story. When a director comes out and pans
his own film before it has been released, something has gone
seriously wrong. Sadly, “The Snowman” is an absolute mess, with
the only shining light being Dion Beebe's impressive cinematography.
7. PASSENGERS
As this film came out right at the beginning of 2017 (it
was released on January 1st here in Australia), I must
apologise for my lack of memory of it. I do have a distinct memory
of rolling my eyes at the film a lot and being bewildered by some of
the things that happen in it. While the film was marketed as some
sort of space romance, it was anything but and the leads, Jennifer
Lawrence and Chris Pratt, lack chemistry of any sort. The whole film
was just misguided, with terrible CGI to boost. From memory, which
as I have said already is severely lacking, I also think it was far
too long. The fact that the film is about a man who deliberately
wakes another passenger from her hibernation sleep, thus condemning
her to death, just because he is lonely is so ridiculous. Hated this
film. I will say that I watched this with my wife, who was much more
forgiving to this absurd film.
6. INGRID GOES WEST
This one may actually be a good film, as I even saw it
in Guillermo del Toro's top ten of 2017, but it was a film that was
just not made for me. The topic of the film was about social media,
and the extreme lengths people go to just to get a “like” for one
of their posts or photos. It was about living a phony existence with
no real friends just to appeal to a sea of online “fans” and
“friends”. Personally, I am not on social media and in fact,
despise it and its constant presence in our lives these days. So
while I am sure this film was hitting all the right notes, as I saw
the film during a sold out session at MIFF who were constantly
laughing, for me all I found was sadness that this is were society is
right now. I just could not look past my own views on social media,
and even though the film was critical of it, I just could not invest
into the story at all. So I say if you are interested in “Ingrid
Goes West”, then make you own mind up about it, rather than use its
inclusion on this list as a determining factor, as my views on this
subject create a very negative bias towards the film. Either way,
for me, I could not stomach this film.
5. VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS
Luc Besson used to be one of my cinematic heroes but
right now the glory days of “Leon” and “La Femme Nikita” look
to be long gone. “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets”
is kind of a passion project for Besson in that it is something he
has wanted to make for ages. Before the film was released he stated
that it was going to blow “The Fifth Element”, his last truly
great film, out of the water. However he did not deliver on this
hyperbolic statement. While at times the film looks great, sadly it
has no soul. The whole thing is almost totally CGI to the point that
you could almost call this an animated film. There are scenes in
this film that look more like a video game, than anything cinematic.
However the worst aspect of the film was the casting of Dane DeHaan
and Cara Delevingne as the lead characters Valerian and Laureline.
Their performances are so flat and basic, looking like they are bored
in this fantastical world, but even worse is their total lack of
chemistry, which for a romantically linked couple is kind of a
killer. I actually have a theory, unsubstantiated mind you, on how
they ended up with these actors in the lead; knowing just how
expensive this film was going to be to make and how much of the
budget was going to have to be spent on the special effects, that the
film makers decided to get bargain basement actors hoping for some
sort of miracle pairing, but if that was the case, it did not work at
all. Also the film is miles too long, making the whole thing even
more boring and a struggle to get through. With each film I hope
that Besson will get back to his character driven action thrillers,
and that a glint of his old genius will show through, but “Valerian
and the City of a Thousand Planets” was yet another disappointment
from this once great director.
4. A DOG'S PURPOSE
My kids loved this film so no doubt they will hate me
for adding it to this list but I just could not stomach “A Dog's
Purpose” at all. The idea of having a dog, constantly being
reincarnated into other dogs after it dies, narrating its thoughts
for the entirety of the film, is one of the most misguided ideas I
have seen in a film for a while. While it is meant to be cute and
heart-warming, not to mention funny, I personally found it cringe
inducing. Lets not even mention the scene where the dog digs up the
body of the recently deceased cat, the family's other pet, all in the
guise of comedy (oops! Think I did just mention it). I should also
mention the very serious accusations about the mistreatment of
animals during the making of this film which are incredibly troubling
and sad to hear. Even without these accusations, “A Dog's Purpose”
is a total dud.
3. RULES DON'T APPLY
I never had much interest in seeing this film, Warren
Beatty's take on the Howard Hughes legend. After Martin Scorsese's
masterful “The Aviator” I didn't think another film could do any
more with or any better on Howard Hughes. Then I went to see a film
and the trailer for “Rules Don't Apply” played before it and it
intrigued me and it looked like a beautiful film, in an old fashioned
way. Boy, I should've stuck with my initial decision not to see this
film because it was terrible. It had no idea what it wanted to be
about, nor what tone it wanted to take. While initially about a
young ingenue who comes to Hollywood and falls in love with one of
Howard Hughes's limousine drivers, that storyline essentially gets
dropped about half way through the film to focus on Hughes himself.
The film just never works, and even the performances struggle to make
an impression. Lily Collins looks beautiful but to have her
character just disappear from the plot for a large chunk of the film,
it felt like a cheat forcing an audience to commit and care about her
story from the start. Also compared to Leonardo DiCaprio's
performance as Hughes, Beatty comes across as a bumbling comic idiot.
The film also drags forever, and feels much longer than it is.
Avoid this film at all costs.
2. MANIFESTO
Julian Rosefeldt's “Manifesto” started life as an
art exhibition, and as far as I am concerned, it should've stayed in
that format and never turned into a feature. The film sees Cate
Blanchett perform as thirteen different characters while reciting
monologues, drawing inspiration from the musings of twelve people
from history. The manifestos come from artists, architects, dancers
and film makers to name a few. Doesn't that sound like a fun night
out at the movies??? Well it is not! It is so damned boring!
Granted, going in I knew that this was probably not going to be for
me, and being a fan of Blanchett, I was there only for her, but if
you do not have an interest in what is being said on screen, it is
hard to even care for the performances no matter how good they may
be. Anyway, for a 95 minute film, it felt like it went three hours
and this was the most bored I was in a cinema during 2017.
1. RABBIT
Sadly the worst film that I saw all year was an
Australian film called “Rabbit”. It is meant to be a
psychological thriller, but for mine, there was nothing thrilling
about this film at all. It was filled with amateurish acting, poorly
shot scenes, and a script that just made no sense at all. It
literally felt like I was watching amateur hour as opposed to
watching a film made by professionals. I get the feeling that the
director, Luke Shanahan, is a fan of David Lynch and has attempted to
make a film the borders on the disturbing, in a way that Lynch does
but it just does not work. The whole thing is a silly mess, and
scenes that are meant to come across as bold and shocking are
anything but. What made it all worse was I saw the world premiere
screening of the film at MIFF with the cast and crew in attendance,
so I was actually feeling embarrassed for them while watching
“Rabbit”. I am also pretty sure that I was sitting next to the
family of a crew member and as such I did not want to show my utter
displeasure while watching the film. However that is what I felt and
I bolted out of the cinema when the credits began. I must say that I
have seen some very positive reviews for “Rabbit” too,
surprisingly, but I guess every viewing of a film is subjective to
the audience member watching it and for me, this was the worst film I
saw in 2017.
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